Friday, October 23, 2015

Indiana Life Update

Yesterday marked 2 months that we have lived in our Indiana home. It was also the first day that I got bored at home. Since we moved from Virginia in late July things have been rolling with the final month of summer and exploring the area pools and parks, craigslisting to find some key furniture for our new space, and then of course the actual move in and unpacking after we honeymooned on Purdue’s campus for 4 weeks until closing. In the midst of that our firstborn also started his formal education journey in kindergarten! (22 more ‘grades’ to go we tell him to match daddy or 18 to mama)


Heath
We had our first parent-teacher conference last night with Heath’s kindergarten teacher and heard great feedback that he is excelling in the measured categories of learning and has been great to have as part of the class. This came as a huge relief because we have been having behavioral challenges at home with him since the move… really once we said we were moving back in June. He started regressing with his bathroom usage and has been flat out ignoring us as we talk or disobeying basic family rules (we don’t jump on furniture, wash your hands after using the bathroom, etc). A lot of mornings have been a struggle to get Heath up, dressed, fed and out the door. Once we get out the door and in the fresh air his attitude is always a positive one, but man is that first hour of the day a doozie! His teacher said that Heath is such a happy kid and is always positive, you can tell he is loved at home, and has a great sense of humor. The few days he has been moved to ‘yellow’ (on the behavior chart) are because he hasn’t followed the rule of staying silent in the hallway. She asked if he likes to make sounds a lot at home with his mouth? Um yes, understatement. He is constantly humming a tune or playing mouth trumpet or scatting. She said Heath is on the younger end of the class spectrum having only turned 5 two months before the cutoff, so a lot of his behavior in class seems very normal to her and part of his age development. (Side note- totally blessed to have a kindergarten teacher who is raising three boys of her own) Of course he is smart and doing great in reading comprehension, writing and math, but I was most pleased to hear that he is respectful to his classmates and his joy is being noticed!
Heath and his good friend Mariel from kindergarten
A week ago it felt like a breaking point in Heath’s behavior and I reached out to a few of our friends to pray him through Monday morning and a new week at school and home. We also reached out to friends on Facebook to help support the 3-5pm witching hour at home post-school by sending some mail to fill his love bucket. I contacted the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) at Purdue (an insurance benefit I am a huge advocate of!) to set up a play therapy meeting for Heath with a counselor later this month. I felt overwhelmed with the parent role and was staring at Jonathan’s upcoming work travel where he would be gone 12 of the next 15 days. Of course I felt overwhelming support from all of you and relief that our tool belt would be expanding on how to help Heath during this season. What I was not expecting at the conference last night was his teacher to note that just in the last week there has felt like a maturity with Heath that he has had better control over his body (song bursts!) and asked if I had done anything different over the last week in particular. Praise God!
Leaf cleaning day
Reese
Reese has broken two more teeth in this month and has two bottom ones that are fighting to get through (ugh). Last I wrote she was doing the newborn waking thing all through the night and we were moving her into the guest room. She is gladly back in her bed and mostly making it through the night sleeping with the last couple days of exception due to I think teething pains. Reese’s vocabulary is really exploding lately and her ability to communicate with it! She enjoys watching a baby signing video and has started to do the sign before they show it. Yesterday when we were walking she told me to ‘stop’ and I didn’t right away until she followed up her stop with a second STOP and used the sign for it at the same time. She was pretty proud of herself. She loves to walk Heath to school in the mornings and give him a hug and a kiss goodbye. On the walk home she plays shy with the crossing guards but when we get to our neighbor’s porch she yells “MORNING!” or “HI!” as they sit and drink their coffee. Then she wants to stop at our other neighbor’s yard and “wing, wing” (swing). So we usually do that for a bit before eventually making it home. Reese is enjoying playing with some of the other neighborhood kiddos who are home during the day as the parents arrange for some regular together time for kid socialization and parent sanity. We visit the library reading time weekly where she is participating more and more in the songs and movements. We grocery shop Monday mornings at Aldi where she is becoming known due to their lack of a radio and Reese providing the music instead. (I’m seeing a theme in our kids)



Riding the City Bus one afternoon post-school per Heath's request
Free bus riding fun!
Us
During our walk to the school conference yesterday J and I got actual alone grown up time- thank you to our neighbors who kept the kids for a bit! He asked me where my thoughts were on exploring work. It is something I thought about a lot yesterday because I was bored for the first time. I have been getting notifications of job postings at Purdue and while some have even matched my skill set and would be a similar or stepping stone on the career path I’ve been taking, I have not felt compelled to apply. Mostly my thoughts on that have centered around our family quality of life right now and when I compare it to what I was balancing when working at VT, I don’t want to go back to that. For 4 years it is what we did and did not feel bad, it just was what it was- we both worked and J studied, we did the full time childcare thing and we felt supported. But it also felt crazy and rushed, especially M-F after work until bedtime. Life now does not feel even a drop of that. I told J I like this version of myself better. I am beginning to see where I have open time and capacity now that we are in a rhythm, and I definitely would love to make money again, but I’m not willing to sacrifice the quality of life our family has now. So I’m keeping an eye out for what something part time could be, but also realize that impacts Reese and needing to pay out for childcare, which may not be fiscally logical, but we shall see. I’m also embracing where God has me right now in this season and trying to not rush into something just to feel the old normal of working.

Siblings hanging out at a camp while dad worked
And the PhD journey is celebrating an important marker November 9th when J will have his prospectus. A term that means having his committee read his first 3 chapters of his dissertation and discuss with him any feedback. It is sort of like a mini-defense to check that he is on track with where the research is headed. Jonathan could probably write his own blog post for the challenges it has been just to get this thing scheduled (he has been ready since May), but I'll just sum it up to say my husband continues to amaze me with his patience and grace. He has leaned into his Harmony strength and continues to persevere on all matters PhD!





1 comment:

  1. Awesome update! Continuing to pray for the adjustment. You didn't mention if you have found a church community yet? I know that has been a big part of helping you get connected where you have lived previously, and could help fill a bit of boredom with ways to exercise your gifts.

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