FAQ for the Manz Fam

Visiting family and friends over this winter vacation allowed us some healthy reflection time as we were asked check in questions and began to articulate what life since relocating to Indiana has been like. Perhaps you didn’t get to see us in Georgia or Virginia these past couple of weeks, but you too have been wondering what’s up with the Manz fam, beyond the adorable photo updates in that Christmas card ;) So here is a summary of what we shared:

Does Jonathan like Purdue and his new job? YES! It’s really great that the reason for our move has been panning out to be a great work fit. We’d hate for the thing that moved us away from our old community to not be so hot. This has been a really important aspect of our transition. When we were dual career searching this past spring we had decided that whatever job we said yes to had to be a fabulous one, not just simply employment. The other partner was not interested in giving up life as it was known just to do life elsewhere potentially without employment.  So Jonathan loving his job and department has been healthy not just for him, but for me too.

He starts his workdays excited to be there and ends his work weeks fulfilled. He is working with wonderful colleagues in a supportive department and has a great supervisor. They have invested in him attending several professional development opportunities this first semester already, with more on the horizon for spring. He is working with different constituents as the housing department and the Honors College opens a brand new building in fall 2016 as the first residential college on campus. Purdue is looking to expand in this area of living/learning communities and faculty partnerships and it is something Jonathan has both experience and skills to contribute.

The only drawback thus far (which we knew going in) was being back in the on-call rotation. Last semester there was only one in the middle of the night call, so not too shabby- Reese woke us up WAY more than that.

Do you like staying at home? To my surprise, yes! Perhaps I just set my expectations low after longing to return to work after both my maternity leaves. But this full time at home gig is way different than the early weeks of your baby’s life where needs are HIGH. It feels like we have a good rhythm in place of how the week shapes up so that all areas feel appropriately invested in (my mental/emotional needs, the kids’ developmental/attention needs, the house’s demands). I have been incredibly grateful for the previous year I spent at Virginia Tech co-leading our aspirations committee for Self-Understanding and Integrity. I have reflected on many of those conversations and questions as I listen to what my inner needs are in this new life stage. I’ve recognized that I need to have an identified goal to accomplish daily. It’s important for me to get dressed and ready at the same time as J and Heath in the mornings so that when the kids and I walk to school at 8am I am dressed and feel ready for the day. Reese is most flexible in the mornings so that is when we run any errands, like our weekly Monday morning grocery run to Aldi. When I recognize we are getting irritable at home I immediately change the scenery and we go outside to play or for a walk, to the library or have a friend come over.

 The tempo of our life has changed so much and while I wouldn’t have described our Blacksburg life as crazy or rushed, this Lafayette rhythm has been full of peace. I have enjoyed accomplishing during the week what used to be our Saturday chores. I appreciate that I have time to menu plan and with it our budget and health have been better as we eat at home, unrushed. I didn’t realize the weight of full time work and familyhood that I was carrying, but I recognize that what is now, feels lighter.

Are you still job searching? Good question… I am still receiving notifications from Purdue and Higher Ed jobs about new openings in the area. But, I haven’t seen anything that makes me want to write another cover letter in exchange for the quality of life we have right now as a family. I miss getting a paycheck. And when we learned about the need to rewire our house right after we closed on it and bought our minivan I was certainly tempted to find any kind of paying work to make the budget less stressed. I have not invested any time in seeking out the childcare options in the area for Reese and the thought of doing that reminds me that it isn’t such an easy tradeoff of going out to make money while having to pay for Reese-care still.

So my perspective on job searching has changed from June until now in that I would have to see a position too hard to pass on, before I would apply. Right now, I think that dream role would be part time while Heath is in school so I could still do drop off and pick up. A few weeks back, Purdue posted my equivalent role in their international center. It was a great feeling to read it, see that I was qualified in every way, feel confident that I could ‘get the job if I wanted it,’ and then have that be enough. I’m asking myself a lot of Why questions and trying to be honest with myself in those reflections. If my answer to why I want to get a job is to calm a fear of what might happen if I have a long gap in my resume, or to have an ‘easier’ response when people ask me what I do, then I should not be applying to paid employment right now. So that’s where I am.

Social media projects that you all are enjoying Indiana, your house and your neighborhood, is that all true? Yes! Maybe it is because we are learning some skills in this relocation thing, now that we are on our Nth round of it, but this transition has been smooth. It has not been without challenges (see previous posts on Heath’s transition), but we have better expectations of knowing deep relationships take time and knowing what is most important to us so that we connect in those ways immediately (like a church family).

I began my gratitude journal on social media after we learned our beloved old home needed to be rewired (initially to the tune of $18k) and I was feeling anything but grateful. I am a firm believer in positive psychology and the ability to increase your own level of hope and optimism. So that very deflating situation is what prompted my detail sharing of what I did love about our 1928 home. And my positivity increased as I focused on that for which I was grateful. My #gratitudejournal is something I’d like to continue documenting because it grounds me in an attitude I want to model, even when deflating things happen. I’ve tried to authentically share also when #reallife things happen too so I’m not perpetuating the social media cycle of unrealistic perspectives.

Our neighborhood is just as fabulous and awesome as it sounds. I didn’t know communities like this still existed, where people look out for each other and look up from their walks or yard work to pause for conversation. We love living in an intergenerational community where we share parenting young ones in this life stage, but also see light in the tunnel from our empty nester and retired neighbors. People are generous and caring and I feel so blessed to have our children surrounded by that kind of love and support.

What are your 2016 goals/hopes/resolutions? Jonathan Manz WILL graduate with his PhD. He passed his prospectus this fall and has been editing those first three chapters. These next few months will have him playing with data, writing two more chapters and then defending before his committee in Blacksburg. I said I would finish watching through Cheers on Netflix when he started the program, so I have a lot of binge watching nights ahead!