A Wild Ride to the West

Some stories need to be told in full, not through limited text headlines or summary. This unfolding story is one such example. To say 'we are moving to Oregon' does not reflect the provisions that have been made. So you know the punch line, but here are the details!

Since our last dual career search in 2015 (which ultimately led us from VA to IN) I have had a search engine set up to email me any time there are higher ed jobs in the Pacific Northwest within student affairs. I get maybe 2-3 postings a month because of the limited qualifiers I have in place, and there has not been any job notice I received that made me feel like I would consider applying to swap out my current gig and family rhythm for a relocation. So I passively glance at these emails and then delete. Well at the end of September I was emailed a posting for Assistant Director of Student Engagement at the University of Portland. I did a deeper dive into the listing because the title is a combination of my previous institutional titles and UoP is in the city I love and a small private faith-based institution which has been my dream context to work.

FAQ: Were you job searching? No. Was Jonathan? No. Were you trying to get out of Indiana? No.

So after reading the 4 page position description, I reflected 1- this is an intentional context/supervisor/institution I would love to work with and 2- the details of the work were a conglomeration of all the previous jobs I have held in higher ed, making it what I have always described as my '10 hats dream job.' I talked with Jonathan about my interest in dusting off my resume materials and applying. In full disclosure, this first conversation did not go well. We were grateful to have good community near and far help support us individually and our marriage, allowing us to work through our communication and ultimately have a deeper connection with each other. Marriage is hard. I'm thankful that J and I are committed to putting the hard work in.

So the application process moved forward...
October 4- I applied.
October 11- They contacted me about moving forward to the next round and writing a work sample for a case study in lieu of a traditional phone interview.
October 21- I submitted my case study report.
November 1- They called to invite me to an on campus interview.
November 12-14- I flew to Portland for a whirlwind 36 hours, interviewing all day on campus the 13th.
November 15- They called and offered me the position, I asked for the weekend to consider and discuss.
November 18- I accepted the position and negotiated the start date/moving. Background checks ensued.
December 10- My formal HR offer letter was received and signed so the announcement could go public.
January 6 will be my first day of employment at the University of Portland.

If you are not in higher ed, this timeline might seem like a long time to you. But if you are in the field, you know that this is actually a fairly fast-moving process- especially considering fall break and Thanksgiving break fell here.  The upfront communication I received throughout the process was by far the best/most clear I have received in a job search process, making me feel valued. Their alternative to a phone interview approach was such a relief for me to have the self set pace of time to use my strength of writing to communicate my thoughts and ideas, instead of feeling pressure to articulate over the phone on the spot. When I was on campus I felt such a great peace to explore the grounds, hug some evergreen trees and spend quiet morning reflection in their chapel.

When the offer came the day after I got home, I had not even had time to debrief my trip with Jonathan yet because of the midweek life with 3 kids and work. So over the weekend we made time to check in with each other and listen. The start didn't go well. We took a break. Then we had some meta-communication (talk about how we are talking), and after a reminder that our ultimate investment is in each other and our marriage, we were able to look forward together at the possibilities instead of talking at each other. I think this is important to note because in a few years these details will become cloudy to me and I may assume (perhaps as others do) that our marriage is easy and we are always in sync. Instead I want to remind myself that tough conversations can be learned from and we are building our skill set with each other for every future talk.

The financial package that was coming with my job offer was/is not enough alone for a family of 5 to live on in the much higher cost of living city of Portland. One of the things we did that weekend was create a budget for our needs there, accounting for the cost of carrying our mortgage in Indiana until it sold. The numbers were bleak, but we could dip into our savings to cover for short term if needed. I made a phone call with my great Uncle Rick to inquire about housing options in the area, and specifically if he would be willing to share his north Portland home (5.5 miles from UoP) with us that he does not live full time in. The summary of that phone call is Uncle Rick said 'of course- you are family.' So we felt God's provision of continuing to open the door for us, even if all the details were not clear yet. I accepted the offer the next day and negotiated to begin at the start of spring semester.

FAQ: Where are you going to live? At my great Uncle Rick's house in north Portland until we figure out what the next best step is for us. Where will the kids go to school? At the neighborhood school only a couple walking blocks away from Rick's house.

Jonathan had been in communication with his supervisor so that she knew I was in a job search process and had visited on campus. When he had his 1:1 with her that week, he updated her on the offer/acceptance and proposed a moving forward plan that would have him remain working on campus through January 17th, then work remotely until they fill his position. Quickly his supervisor agreed with that plan to keep him on and affirmed that they did not want to post his job now mid-year, but wait until the typical spring hiring for summer start schedule. She called HR to see how they needed to make it work and called the next morning to say they would extend his contract at 3/4 time because of the time zone difference but he would still be earning benefits. You might be asking, doesn't J work with on-campus student housing stuff? Yes. In my opinion, because Jonathan has built great relationships across campus and done such an amazing job these past few years, they are graciously extending him this opportunity to help cover the otherwise gap his absence would leave behind. And also, God.

FAQ: So does Jonathan have a job? Yes, he will keep his Purdue position starting at 3/4 time in January until the department hires his replacement, or, until J moves into another Portland-based job. Is Jonathan job searching? Yes- as soon as we accepted my offer his searching in Portland higher ed went from passive to active. If you have any leads to connect him with, send a note! There are quite a few university options in the immediate area (Portland State, WSU-Vancouver, Clark College, Lewis & Clark, Concordia, Warner Pacific, Portland/Clackamas/Mt Hood Community Colleges, Reed College, Linfield, Multnomah, and further out from the city- Pacific University, George Fox, Willamette).

The logistics of moving a family of 5 across the country 2,200 miles has been slightly more daunting then each of our shorter distance moves with less children each time. Thankfully we have built a skill set around this moving thing to know our resources and keep moving ahead. One fast decision we made was that hauling all of our things was expensive and not worth it, so we have been flexing that minimizing muscle and purging items the past couple weeks. It is fun to be in the Christmas spirit of giving in this way and get to gift some of our bigger furniture items to friends who can benefit. We will pack up the remaining items into a Haul U-box (or 3) which is a self contained storage unit that they will haul for us. As we looked at the map route from Indiana to Oregon it seemed wise to not haul our own trailer through northern states in the middle of winter.

FAQ: So when are you moving? How are you all getting there?
January 4- Lyndsy and Ande fly to PDX
January 18- Lyndsy flies back to IND
January 19- Lyndsy, Heath and Reese fly one way to PDX with closets packed in checked luggage
January 20- UBoxes delivered to IN house that J and his folks will load up
January 21-25 somewhere in this time frame J will drive our van with our friend Ryan on the 2,200 mile journey to join us in Portland
February 8- Our Uboxes of stuff will arrive to us in Portland

Who is going to help with the kids?
My dad is joining me in Portland January 4 to do Ande care while I begin work. He will stay around until Jonathan arrives at the end of the month. My mom will fly up to join him MLK weekend with Ande while I do the round trip flight to get Heath and Reese. My in-laws will join Jonathan and the older two in Indiana after I leave in January to help be on hand with school drop off and pick up and general household help. We have never asked our parents for this kind of assistance and we feel so grateful that 3/4 of them are now retired and they are all so willing to be of help.
What about after you are all out in Portland and both of you are working, what will the kids do? Ande is on a waitlist for the childcare at UoP, and I am looking at other options of where she could go once my dad leaves. Let me know if you have recommendations! Because of Jonathan's 3/4 time schedule that he will begin in Portland, he should end his work day at 2pm (5pm IN time) and be available to Heath and Reese after school. Their campus also has YMCA after school programs that we can pursue if needed.

How are the kids feeling about the move? 
The kids are reacting similarly to J and I with both excited and sad emotions fluctuating, expressed in their own 5yo and 9yo ways. Ande I'm sure has picked up on the additional stress we are all navigating and her sleep schedule has been out of sorts with newborn-like wakings in the 2a-5a hours. Reese says she is sad to leave her friends but is excited to start school in Oregon and has declared that she will do gymnastics once she gets to Portland! Heath initially responded the hardest through tears saying he does not want to go. But within the hour, was asking about the Children's Museum in Portland and planning to connect with friends from a distance via video games. Heath has created a powerpoint presentation on his school iPad with facts about Portland, all on his own initiative. There have certainly been more tears (from everyone) in our house these past couple of weeks and we are coping with a full December schedule with family visits and winter performances. On good days we give each other grace and hugs. You can help by praying for us to have the most kind of grace-filled days possible in our weeks of transition ahead.

What about #thisoldhouse? We met with our realtor and will list the house the last week of January once we have fully moved out. We considered listing right away, but who wants to show a house in the middle of the holidays while hosting grandparents back to back and living with 3 young kids?-- ya, no thanks on that one. We are putting a new roof on our garage next week and addressing small needs to have it ready to list. If you know someone looking for a fantastic family home in the best neighborhood community Lafayette, IN has to offer- send them my way!

If you have more questions, I probably don't have the answers...yet. It seems each new day brings us closer to having more plans solidified. It has been a wild ride for sure and we are excited for the adventure ahead while managing our grief of saying goodbyes and the rhythm that we know and love here in Indiana.

Selling our first home

Last post Jonathan shared that we listed our house for sale on the market Thursday, June 25th and immediately got positive responses with several showings on day one and day two. Friday night our realtor met us after the kids went to bed and shared 3 offers!! We were overwhelmed with God's provision. The offers were good, with varying degrees of price difference and contingencies. We made a plan to call for "highest and best" by 5pm the next day to give an opportunity for things to shake out, knowing it was possible that some offers could walk away. But being only one day in, we felt confident that something good would come. Saturday morning I prayed that whatever offers came or didn't come, that it would be clear- that we would have no regrets over which one to choose. Saturday our realtor was in a little communication with us, enough to say an offer came in strong, and that things were getting crazy but good. So Saturday night we gathered again in our living room and she presented the news that we had 6 offers to review! SIX! All of them were offering list price and above.

There was one very strong offer, not just in the offer price, but in what their agent described as 'the strongest offer package he has ever written.' It was a cash offer, no potential hiccups of bank financing or appraisal; it waived all contingencies- no home inspection, no radon inspection, no termite inspection; it offered an aggressive closing date of 21 days to sign on July 17th- our last day at VT, with a seller's agreement attached to allow us to continue living at the house through July 31st at no cost.

Our Virginia Home, a first in ownership

Even in snow covered winter- LOVE!

It was clear. My prayer was answered beyond measure in a way that I didn't even know was possible. As I've thought about other times in my life where I have felt this kind of blessing, I reflect on my 'perfect man' list that I drafted at age 18. Jonathan Manz does not align with this list on every single point, but I am humbled by God's provision to give more than I could even dream in what I considered 'ideal.' (humorous example: it turns out not having a husband who loves black licorice as I do is quite alright- in its place are qualities like cooking breakfast for me nearly every morning of the week!) God is so good to show faithfulness in provisions, better than what my human lens can muster. And so as we pack up our first home in Virginia and feel all the emotions of transition and change, I am reminded to find rest in this provision and faith in a God will continue to provide for our family.

Along the (dual career search) journey

I am so anxious to be out of our job search season. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and mental taxation writing cover letters, putting applications out there, interviewing and researching new locations for our family to live. There is a lot of that I am ready to be done with. But I also hate feeling like I'm just waiting to get through something, and try to be reflective about what I appreciate in the here and now.

So I was thinking on this round of the job search for us and what value has come out of the roller coaster fraught with excitement and heartache. Three things come to mind, all under the umbrella of relationships.
1- Our marriage. Today marks our 7th anniversary and as we celebrate I am keenly aware of how deep my appreciation for my partner runs. When we met in graduate school, both pursuing the same career and thinking of all that we had in common, never would I have predicted the challenge that commonality would bring as we embarked on our first, second, and now third dual career search. It requires us to be honest with ourselves and then verbalize those hopes/dreams/expectations to one another. This work of marriage is not for the faint of heart. It has required me to dig deeper in my authenticity and humility to admit when I'm feeling irritable because I wanted my job lead to work out and I'm disappointed, and jealous, that yours is working out right now. Many people have commented to me in this season, "I don't know how you guys do it." (the dual job search) I respond, I don't know how we do it either, we just move through it together like everything else and try to keep our relationship with the highest priority,  because at the end of it all if we have two jobs we both love, but have treated one another poorly and not been honest in communication- then our marriage and family will suffer and that is not a value we are prepared to risk. There is no other person I'd rather journey through this not-fun-stuff with than Jonathan. There is no other marriage I'd rather be in than my own- even and especially on the hard days.

2- Reconnected friends. In the past 5+ months we have put applications in across the U.S. and as we explore new terrain it has allowed me to connect with old friends who are also spread out across the country in areas we have pursued. I have been on the phone, on Skype, email and text with friends from college, grad school, and Arkansas that I otherwise would not have been prompted to reconnect with. Some people attribute this to the importance of keeping a professional network. As a (Strengthsquest) Relator, these relationships are more to me than a network, they are friends who have made a mark on my journey to the degree that I feel comfortable to reach out and pick up where things were left. I am so thankful for that opportunity to be reminded of the importance of community and the new relationships that we create, but also the ones we keep and grow. Thanks Andy, Emily, Kaylee, Jessica, James, Tasha, Dr. Lewis and Mel for your friendship and support! (Yep- that is CO, CA, OR, FL, TX and IN represented to get a taste of what it means when I say roller coaster!)

3- Present Community. Our home group through our church has been vital in our sanity. They have listened to us weekly and been a constant, despite what the ups and downs of our day has held. I know it can be overwhelming to listen to our madness and try and track what application/interview is this week vs next. Not once did that mean they listened or cared less (it did mean once they asked to see the google spreadsheet to keep it in order). To be in community like this is a blessing of God and we are so grateful to have their support and joint prayers.

So it is not over, yet. We are still on the dual career search journey, but my heart is full with appreciation for the way God has renewed and strengthened these relationships through life in this season.

Selling the Grey Wolf

This spring season we are in the job search as Jonathan concludes his time as a PhD student at Virginia Tech. (3 chapters down, proposal-2 chapters-defense to go!) We have LOVED our time in Blacksburg and the community that has become our extended family. We had hope that staying would be an option, but as search processes have played out, that is looking less likely. So as we continue to travel and apply nationally, the truth that we need to prep for a move is becoming our reality. Thankfully, the minimizing journey of this past year has helped immensely in thinking about the simplicity of what remains and what we would want to journey with us. Sadly, the grey wolf doesn't make the cut!

Two years ago, our family was blessed to inherit the Manz family car that had circulated through J's parents and both brothers before preparing to donate. Since we had been living with just the one car that we shared and Jonathan had an upcoming internship that would have him driving 45 minutes away twice a week for the semester, this car joined our family at the right season! But that season is over. We don't 'need' a second car, and while the grey wolf has been mostly good to us, she isn't worth trailing nationally with us. 

After having some work done at the mechanic the past couple weeks and passing inspection, I was ready to move this girl on before she overstayed her welcome. With Heath not well and home with a fever this week, I had some extra time yesterday to put a Craigslist ad together and do my Kelley Blue Book research to post. I listed it at the fair market value, or best offer. Then a reminder of God's provision showed up.... 30 times! I didn't check my email account until after dinner, 10 hours later, to see the overwhelming response of people interested in the grey wolf- not even one of those was a spammer. Overwhelmed, I started with the first one in and replied with more information and offering they could look at the car tonight or tomorrow. Within 5 minutes they responded, I called back, and 15 minutes later they were here in the car test driving. 

A dad and his senior in high school daughter came together to explore the car. She is going to be at Hokie in the fall and has been saving for a car to purchase so she can commute to classes from the town next door. We could not have picked better buyers! The dad modeled great empowerment by letting his daughter make the call, "it's your money sweetheart, I can just tell you this is a great car in excellent condition for its age and this is a fair price." She said, "I want it!" 

And because I have seen God's faithfulness show itself in the details and unexpected bonus ways, I have to share about my breakfast table conversation with Heath this morning. I explained to Heath that we had exciting news that the grey wolf was going to have a new owner and it was a student who is coming to Virginia Tech who has been saving her money, just like he has been saving his money in a jar. "She saved her money just like me?!" Yep. And when she pays us for the car, do you know what mom and dad are going to do with that money? "Save it?" Yep, because our family wants to save so we can buy a van like we rode together in Florida. So you are saving your money, and this girl saved her money, and our family is going to save our money. Heath says, "And Opa saved his money too so he could buy 2 boats- a fishing boat and a fast boat!" Yep, that's right, you come from a family of savers, do you think you will save your money so one day you can buy a car when you go to college? "Yes!"

Our Home

Our Home- Snow Day Friday January 18, 2013

We have been on a journey! To be honest it began all the way back in Spring of 2011 when we decided to relocate to Blacksburg and had two rental homes fall through. It was an emotional roller coaster searching online from a distance and when we landed a contract for rental home number three we were just happy to have it settled and done - albeit site unseen.

Summer of 2012 our landlords asked us if we would ever have an interest in buying our house from them. They were looking into purchasing another home and toying with the idea of dropping to one less mortgage. We told them it sounded like an appealing idea and to keep us posted. We did some initial homework on budgeting and home buying to see if we were crazy to consider it and felt like it could be potentially a good risk for us. Well time went by and nothing more came of it. We passed them on a walk in September and it sounded like their house buying was at a standstill. So we felt a little bummed, but dismissed it and moved on. Or so we thought. 

Over Thanksgiving break, we got an email from our landlords telling us they were in final negotiations on buying a home and asking us if we were still interested in purchasing our house from them. We felt a bit thrown because time had passed and we were getting closer to being on the back half of Jonathan's  program where we felt there was less likelihood to invest long-term. But we were still intrigued at buying a home that we love and already live in and also not wanting to move out if someone else bought it. So we talked with our friends and family and read a lot and prayed. We asked them for a price point to know if we could even realistically talk further. 

After getting a price, we did some more homework. We were grateful to get paired up with a local realtor with much experience in the Blacksburg market who was willing to help us youngins out pro bono. Market analysis and property evaluation was done to give us a value recommendation. Knowing that we will potentially resell in two year's time we needed to feel like this could be a smart investment. We also got pre-approved for a mortgage during this time with a local bank. So three weeks later all these numbers were gathered and our decision was to move ahead with a counter offer. 

(Christmas happened next)

Three weeks later we heard a reply and a little more back and forth chatter on email. Next we invited them over for tea and cookies (a side note of how my colleague from the UK is rubbing off on me) and discussed some price negotiations in person. Two hours later we all felt confident about moving forward on an agreed upon figure and enjoyed quite a bit of side tangent conversation in the process. 

Three days later we all sat with a real estate attorney to draw up a contract for us since they are selling without a realtor. On the same day I had a meeting at work with our VP to talk about the additional work my co-Assistant Director and I have been doing since our Director left in October. As a wonderful surprise we were given a bonus that will perfectly cover our closing costs on this house. My eyes welled up and I tried as hard as I could to keep it together in the big fancy VP office, but ultimately failed. What an incredible blessing and provision for us!

We signed and submitted the contract in February and have been in the waiting stages of underwriting and preclosing preparations. Today at 4pm we gave our signatures and initials about forty times over and an hour later we are officially home owners!

I am overwhelmed by the feeling of God's continued provision for us and the thought that two years ago I was so discouraged because two other rental houses fell through. What a provision!

A New Daycare

This has been an interesting (read emotional rollercoaster) week. Monday morning J dropped Heath off at school and found a note in his cubby that said our daycare would be closing. The process would be gradual as teachers found other work and children found other care, but the process would start next Monday. The church that hosts the daycare we've been at since we came to Blacksburg last year had just voted Sunday to close the daycare to make more room for their 'other growing ministries' (unbeknown to us that it was even being considered). I could go on for a bit about my feelings and thoughts here, but I won't because they are all irrelevant to the purpose of my post and that is this- God has shown up again in a huge way and provided.

Daycares in Blacksburg are something of a rarity- if you are looking to start a new business seriously considering opening a childcare option here! J moved into quick action Monday morning and 'updated' Heath's name on the Gucci waiting list (yep the one he has been on since last April). He also made a call to a place near us where some friends are and added Heath to that waitlist. In the process of talking with other parents we learned that another childcare center in the adjacent town to ours closed last week and they too have been flooding the waitlists and stopping by for tours of facilities.

We toured waitlist option #2 yesterday and it just didn't sit well with us. No judgment on our friends who feel well cared for there, or the center which has a following of supporters, it just didn't feel like an extension of our parenting in the way that our current place has felt. We would have to consider making concessions in our preferences/values to have food choices that we deem healthy and not be able to continue using cloth diapers. While the location was convenient for our preference to bike, bus or walk, it just didn't sit right with either of us. And they weren't in order enough to tell us even after three days where we stood on the waitlist and when they might have the next opening.

After Monday's news came, we reached out to family and friends and asked them to join us in prayer. And not just us- but also the many families displaced and our beloved teachers who are looking for employment. In the midst of our grill news (read previous post) I was trying to calm my extreme grief and anxiety over the daycare situation by being reminded of God's faithfulness. Our neighbors are in the same boat with us and shared their spreadsheet of findings of local centers (including whether or not they'd accept cloth). They encouraged us to check out another option that was in town, just a mile and a half away rather than 3-5 blocks.

God showed up.

In the warm smile and sympathetic eyes of the Director who greeted me this morning and in the lead teacher of the 2s who I literally wanted to reach across and hug (tatted up arms, facial piercings and all) as she spoke such understanding and shared values of child raising.  Of course they would use our cloth diapers and of course we could bring alternative snacks in for Heath if we desired. I have never seen such a well behaved group of 14 two year olds in a room together. I felt reassured. I could stuff away the mommy guilt of working full time and the schema of finagling sitters and kid sharing and J to make some alternative option work.

The 2s classroom has three students who will graduate to the next room this coming Monday, opening up three new slots. When I told my coworker this she said 'what a crazy coincidence, almost like it is providential.' That's exactly what it is. This is what I prayed for and though this emotional rollercoaster of a week feels it is moving too fast, I am choosing to place my trust in these doors that have been opened and affirmed that God is at work continuing to provide for our family.

This is Heath enjoying the entrance to his new school. 

He cried when we left, a good sign I think.

Bonus- the new daycare is letting us have the open spot and start August 9th after we have our family vacations and Oma visit in July where Heath would not be in care anyway- just paying a bill AND the first week there is free.

A New Grill

I greatly appreciate my friend Leslie who recently blogged about their 'Omer of Manna'( here ) and the ways that they have acknowledged God's provision and guidance in their life. I've been prompted a few times in the last month to reflect on this idea of the ways I see God at work, big and small. I know I don't write a lot on our blog directly about my faith journey, but I see this evidence that affirms my trust in God and want to document them for our family and hope they also may encourage you. Here is a little note about how recently we saw God's provision.

We bought a gas grill with our wedding money when we moved to Fayetteville four years ago. It's been working pretty well for us though it lost a wheel in the move last year. Recently J has noticed the rusting on some of the burners, more hot spots and general wear on the grates. He was looking into new replacement parts and I suggested he look at googling the grill to see if others were having this common issue. Wow! We learned that the company sent out a huge recall on six of their models a year or two ago and many had seen extreme damage where their grill caught on fire or the lid blew off in flames, etc. (Our grill has been setting on our wood deck adjacent to the side wall of our home for the last year). Lowe's no longer carries this brand of grill.

There were some comments by others that they were able to return the grill to Lowe's and get store credit to go towards a new grill. J called the 800 number for Lowe's and they gave him the manufacturer number to order replacement parts. We decided to go in person to the Christiansburg VA Lowe's and see if talking to a store manager would get us further. It did. Long story short- they credited us $200 for returning the time bomb grill without a receipt and we brought home a new Weber gas grill last night. (Thanks to our friend David and his minivan for making the after-bedtime run to Lowe's)

When I see the pictures and hear the stories of how other grills caused damage I am so grateful for the protection that was covering our family and our homes these past four years. The customer service at Lowe's to accept our piece of junk and dispose for us then give us store credit is a HUGE financial provision.

And so to circle back and live out Genesis 12 that admonishes us to bless others with and because of the blessings we have received, we owe some grilled steaks to friends!