Simple Pursuit

Earlier this winter, I posted a question on social media asking my friends if they would be interested in learning more about minimalism if I organized some communications with resources and kicked it off in the new year. I wrote about it on the blog too here. I was thinking if there were at least a handful (6-8?) of my friends interested, it would be something that I could do and enjoy. Well 30+ friends commented about their enthusiastic interest and that was certainly enough to grow my excitement.

In January, 27 friends joined me for a 6 week conversation learning about minimalism and taking on challenges to declutter their homes and reflect on their values. I was so excited to see the breadth of friends and former colleagues and peers that participated from Oregon, Texas, Arkansas, Virginia and Indiana (time for my CA peeps to join next!). What began as an idea to share resources that have helped me to savor what I have in life, really shaped into a rhythm, similar to my writing curriculum. Based on feedback that participants were sharing with me about their learning and questions, I directed our emails into a 6 week course.

After the overwhelmingly positive feedback from my initial post, I thought I better get myself organized in case this grows quicker than I am envisioning. So I reflected on a name to label the emails with, and drafted a logo. I didn't think much of it, until a local friend participating talked to me in person and started referencing "the simple pursuit emails" and "the simple pursuit challenge last week." So then I created a gmail account.

For me, the pursuit of simple is to embrace that which is most important and basic. When we remove the busyness and life clutter, then we have room to savor those most important and basic values. Savor is a favorite word in our house!

My January cohort was made up of folks who had heard of minimalism but had not tried it, as well as those who were practicing minimalism habits already. I solicited their evaluation after our 6 weeks and was able to build on their insights for the direction of what future communications could look like, expanding beyond the twice weekly emails to also include webchat offerings. We had been using a secret Facebook group to post updates and dialogue through the 6 week process, and one adjustment I am making there is to let that serve as the graduation gift to those who learn the basics in Simple Pursuit, and want to keep trekking! So here is the rundown I have shared with those who are inquiring, feel free to pass along!

What is Simple Pursuit?
A 6 week online journey for those who are interested in the pursuit of simple. The principles of minimalism will be shared for you to reflect upon and determine what pieces you want to integrate. It is an investment in yourself to evaluate what you are prioritizing and how you can remove that which is not important from being a distraction.

In return for your investment you will receive:
6 weeks of resources to introduce or enhance your knowledge of minimalism
Twice-weekly emails with reflection homework and action items
A one hour group webchat half way through to ask questions and hear ideas from others
An optional 1:1 webchat time scheduled with me any time during the 6 weeks, up to 1 hour, to discuss and troubleshoot any decluttering barriers
After the 6 weeks, you will be invited into a secret Facebook group of class participants should you want to continue the conversation and resource sharing

Cost
$45
(Friends and Family take an additional 25% Discount at registration...that is $33.75)

How to register:
Email insimplepursuit@gmail.com with your preferred email address to receive weekly communications beginning the first week of April. Once your spot is confirmed, you will receive an email regarding payment steps.

In order to preserve the personal attention afforded, there will be a cap at 20 participants. (At this time of posting I have spots for 10 more)

Camping with Friends

The last weekend of September was spent in Chillicothe, Ohio with our friends the Chinns. What a beautiful break from the new adventures in Indiana to be reunited with community that we have shared the last four years of our lives with. As I was describing to someone what the Chinn family has been for us while in Virginia I realized we have spent more time with them then anyone else, saying 2-4x/week over the past four years between church, homegroup, football watching, play dates, borrowing stuff, swapping date night coverage... They've been the extension of our family and so the last 8 weeks without them has felt like forever.

We knew we wanted to connect our families this fall and so after looking at a map determined that Chillicothe was the halfway point for each of us to drive 4+ hours. Our first thought of staying at a camper cabin in the state park didn't pan out with booking, so we looked for other affordable options and decided we were all up for giving tent camping a try! I'm so glad we did, it was awesome. Having a 6,5,4 and 1.5 year old sleeping outside two nights I thought we might be crazy, but at least we will be crazy all together. But it was fine.

It rained overnight both nights, but things were relatively dry in the mornings and the weather felt great to be outdoors and enjoy campfires at night. The campground we stayed at was mostly populated by RVs, but they had a few 'primitive camping' spots that gave us a charcoal grill, picnic table and fire pit- while still being ~150 yards away from a bathhouse. We definitely recommend checking out Walnut Creek Campground if travels have you in the middle of Ohio. There was a pond with paddle boats that we explored one day, and a basic playground that the kids enjoyed each day.

Lots of memories were made, many more to come in what may be our annual trip ;)

Along the journey, part 2

This should have been part 1 really, but I told J I was avoiding writing it. Avoiding because I'm not great at talking about my faith in public forums and I always value creating an inclusive community which sometimes those feel in tension to hold. But as most all things that go on the blog- this is of value for our family to document and look back on moments along our journey.

When you are experiencing a difficult season or situation, well-meaning and good-intentioned folks in your community may offer their best wishes through phrases like this: "It will all work out in the end."  "God has a plan." "It wasn't meant to be."

I think that is crap.

Here is why:
First, in the world of counseling can you ever imagine a psychologist offering this kind of statement? No, and why not? Because the statements don't help the person to acknowledge the fullness of the spot they are in now. I think it is important to say things like, "this sucks." And you can stop there, period. To be in community is to empathetically share in the ups and downs. It is grossly uncomfortable to be with someone in their grief, disappointment or heartache. I get it. I struggle myself to not word vomit to avoid my uncomfortableness, but just be present.

Good friends have been through a terrible journey of loosing their baby and having to deliver late in the third trimester. There are just no words to capture the grief. As I offered up prayers even those words felt inadequate. The phrase that I would pray for and over them was 'God be near, Christ be near.' That was it. I stood next to them, physically when they came to church the next Sunday.
My personal experience in hard times is that I want people to be near, but to not stay stupid things. That's a hard thing to ask, because we are human and filling up voids with stupid words is a bit too natural. I appreciated the pastor who spoke at this little one's memorial service and proclaimed that this was not part of God's plan- God does not wish for nor plan for tragedy like this to happen. I get that this is a hard juxtaposition to hold for an omniscient God.
Edit: Thanks to my friend Erin for sharing this quote that I think further articulates that juxtaposition and where I find myself landing: "A lament grieves that the world is unbalanced. It grieves at the gap between reality and God's promise. It believes in a God who is there, who can act in time and space. It doesn't drift into cynicism or unbelief, but engages God passionately with what's wrong." Paul E. Miller

The second reason those phrases are hard for me to hear is because they are not in line with my theology. Those phrases point towards a logical map of steps that have to be taken in order to be within God's will or plan. I don't believe God works on that narrow of a track, with a treasure map that is hidden and we are digging holes in the sand trying to find- sometimes hitting or missing the mark. I value taking the macro-view of God's design for me as part of creation and the purpose for which I can grow into and fill. The job search when looked at through this lens, becomes empowering and sparks my curiosity for any number of ways I could live life fully within or out of higher education as vocational calling.
             I really appreciate getting to connect with Dr. Lewis (my college theology professor) this past month to talk through some of these tensions. He just has this wonderful way of demonstrating what it means to be present and articulating truths- like it is hard for people to not say phrases like the above because we don't have a good theology of suffering; there are a lot of benefits from feeling bad in life; God is bigger than the box we try to put him in; there is not a magic door that we are waiting for to open, that is where discernment comes in.

So one way in which I've grown on this journey is to be cognizant of the times I am filling up spaces with unnecessary (and sometimes hurtful) words. I've been challenged to think how well I listen and practice the art of being. I've also been enjoying some reading of the Jesuit faith on discernment and vocation.

Along the (dual career search) journey

I am so anxious to be out of our job search season. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and mental taxation writing cover letters, putting applications out there, interviewing and researching new locations for our family to live. There is a lot of that I am ready to be done with. But I also hate feeling like I'm just waiting to get through something, and try to be reflective about what I appreciate in the here and now.

So I was thinking on this round of the job search for us and what value has come out of the roller coaster fraught with excitement and heartache. Three things come to mind, all under the umbrella of relationships.
1- Our marriage. Today marks our 7th anniversary and as we celebrate I am keenly aware of how deep my appreciation for my partner runs. When we met in graduate school, both pursuing the same career and thinking of all that we had in common, never would I have predicted the challenge that commonality would bring as we embarked on our first, second, and now third dual career search. It requires us to be honest with ourselves and then verbalize those hopes/dreams/expectations to one another. This work of marriage is not for the faint of heart. It has required me to dig deeper in my authenticity and humility to admit when I'm feeling irritable because I wanted my job lead to work out and I'm disappointed, and jealous, that yours is working out right now. Many people have commented to me in this season, "I don't know how you guys do it." (the dual job search) I respond, I don't know how we do it either, we just move through it together like everything else and try to keep our relationship with the highest priority,  because at the end of it all if we have two jobs we both love, but have treated one another poorly and not been honest in communication- then our marriage and family will suffer and that is not a value we are prepared to risk. There is no other person I'd rather journey through this not-fun-stuff with than Jonathan. There is no other marriage I'd rather be in than my own- even and especially on the hard days.

2- Reconnected friends. In the past 5+ months we have put applications in across the U.S. and as we explore new terrain it has allowed me to connect with old friends who are also spread out across the country in areas we have pursued. I have been on the phone, on Skype, email and text with friends from college, grad school, and Arkansas that I otherwise would not have been prompted to reconnect with. Some people attribute this to the importance of keeping a professional network. As a (Strengthsquest) Relator, these relationships are more to me than a network, they are friends who have made a mark on my journey to the degree that I feel comfortable to reach out and pick up where things were left. I am so thankful for that opportunity to be reminded of the importance of community and the new relationships that we create, but also the ones we keep and grow. Thanks Andy, Emily, Kaylee, Jessica, James, Tasha, Dr. Lewis and Mel for your friendship and support! (Yep- that is CO, CA, OR, FL, TX and IN represented to get a taste of what it means when I say roller coaster!)

3- Present Community. Our home group through our church has been vital in our sanity. They have listened to us weekly and been a constant, despite what the ups and downs of our day has held. I know it can be overwhelming to listen to our madness and try and track what application/interview is this week vs next. Not once did that mean they listened or cared less (it did mean once they asked to see the google spreadsheet to keep it in order). To be in community like this is a blessing of God and we are so grateful to have their support and joint prayers.

So it is not over, yet. We are still on the dual career search journey, but my heart is full with appreciation for the way God has renewed and strengthened these relationships through life in this season.

Weekend Downsize- Dresser

I went into this weekend thinking that I was going to work on our bathroom cupboards in the next step of purging. I know there is a bag of bath toys in one that has not been opened for at least a year and a half, and I'm sure a few bottles of medicine that are past due. But before I could get my hands on them I noticed a moving truck in my neighbor's driveway. I went outside to explore and learned that one of our favorite VT students and neighbor, Pat, was moving out after getting a job over winter break. His folks own the house and he was one of the first Blacksburgans we met upon moving here 3.5 years ago. Heath was not even walking when Pat came over to say hi. Since then he has had the patience of a saint to have Heath explore in his yard and crash the college student tailgate by taking time explaining how to play things like "beersbie" or "frisbee bucket." We will really miss Pat, in the same way we miss the original roommates (good community) in that house, Joe and Cheese (Steve).

As Pat was telling me about the move, he offered that there was a ton of furniture he still had to purge. I told him if he had a dresser I was looking to downsize the one in our room. He did! And that gracious guy carried it right on over and into my bedroom!

4 and 2 half drawers that are slimmer and more narrow than my big 9er

I quickly turned around and posted my 9 drawer beast of a dresser as free to a mom's group on Facebook and it was just as quickly spoken for! So my weekend efforts were placed into clearing out the larger dresser, purging the items I no longer needed/wore. I asked myself, how many socks do I really go through in a week knowing we do laundry every Saturday. I was affirmed that 15 pair of white athletic socks was about 12 too many, because I don't run nor work out or play sports with regularity that I'd need them. TMI- after two kids my chest and butt have shifted sizes too and a few bras and underwear were moved out. Asking the questions of 'do I need?' continues to become easier.

Next weekend- back to the bathroom cupboards!

Reese's Dedication

Here are the questions that we are asked during the ceremony: The response is  “We do, with God’s help”

QUESTIONS:

1. Do you acknowledge your child as a gift from God and are you here today to ask God’s blessing upon them?
2.  Do you dedicate yourself to raise your child in a way that pleases the Lord, and will you endeavor to share God’s story with them both through your way of life and the sacred scriptures? 3.  Do you today commit to raise your child within a church community, where you can receive the support and encouragement you need to raise them in a way that pleases God and leads them to maturity in Christ?