Friday, April 12, 2013

Day 11: Getting honest here about Jesus

We traveled to Alexandria, VA today and the city welcomed us with beautiful cherry blossoms and warm spring weather. J and I are staying alone together at a Residence Inn hotel by Marriott that greeted us with a birthday cake in our room acknowledging my upcoming 30th birthday. After our conference ended at 9pm we were able to reconnect with a great friend and colleague from Arkansas days who is  now living in the area rocking orientation at Georgetown. Ending the night at a karoke bar over drinks with J and Justin was pretty much the cherry on top to a great non-work, mostly vacation day.

The conference we are at is called Mission Alliance and it is the inaugral gathering of about 700 who serve in Christian ministry to talk about the future of what that looks like. When we were offered the opportunity to come to this, my first thought was that J and I would get a break away from Blacksburg and have two nights in a hotel alone- pretty sold on that! The plenary and workshop sessions are intentionally diverse in the theological approach and background of the varied presenters. I think a tag line for the conference should have been something about- where you will be uncomfortable. Even in the plenary sessions with everyone there are multiple voices being shared and they aren't talking about easy agreeable things. One session that stood out to me yesterday was on Humanity.

Perhaps when we talk about Humanity in Christian circles it is then that people feel a freedom to be honest and raw. There was a tone change in the authenticity of the speakers. Perhaps making the best quotes list of the week was Al Hirsch who said "It's not about the supression of the orgasm, it's about the redemption of it." And his wife Deb who followed with a great model reference about how spirituality and sexuality are similar in ways that we are longing to connect and a desire to know and be known. In spirituality that longing is to connect with a capital O Other, and is vertical. In sexuality (and we aren't just talking about intercourse here) we are longing to connect horizontally with lower case o others. I loved them and think their community in Los Angeles - Tribe of LA is probably an incredible people to be part of. The other awesome quote of the day was when Deb said "Where we stand determines what we see." They have intentionally chosen to be in community with those who are marginalized and this sentence about choosing where we stand has been foundational.

The other thought that has stayed with me from opening day was the first plenary on Gospel. The question was posed about the different between an icon and an idol- in reference to how Jesus is viewed in Christianity. This question helped to give language to a struggle I was feeling during Holy Week this year (and every year) when Jesus is placed in such a primary role of the Christian tradition.  (Remember my goal in reflecting this month is to also be vulnerable- so please be gentle here). J and I went on a date last month and out to a coffeehouse where I tried to articulate how I used to love Holy Week but more and more it has become a time that makes me feel uncomfortable with the emphasis that is placed on Jesus instead of a window that we look through to see a better picture of God.

Part of my context in understanding my own Christian faith is having participated in the Religion and Christian Ministry program at Warner Pacific College. During my year of Theology with Dr. Steve Lewis I was encouraged to hold onto one thing that could ground me in my belief, but to be flexible and open to altering other views. I held on to the belief that there is a God who created me and wants to be in relationship with me. I didn't hold on to Jesus, I held on to God. I'm not saying I dismissed or let go of Jesus, I just opened my box a little wider on the role that he played in my faith that was ultimately grounded in a belief in God. (I'll say here that I absolutely love my husband and our ability to engage in these conversations with each other so that during this coffee chat when I said 'so what do you think of Jesus?' we had a good laugh at the question, but then explored it).

So this idea of an icon that allows us to reflect upon that which is behind the representation or a symbol is deeply meaningful in my perspective of Jesus. In contrast the idol is that which is worshipped in itself alone. My Senior year of college I had to present my final paper for RCM majors to the faculty. I remember sitting in the office and having questions clarifyingly asked of me- so, tell us more here, do you believe in Jesus? :) It wasn't quite an inquisition, but I knew that my pendulum had swung from the experience of theaters being filled that year to watch the Passion of the Christ and wanting to have a deeper beyond Jesus look at who God was.

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