Day 3: Choosing Student Affairs ctd

The summer before my senior year I stayed on campus and took my Humanities capstone course as independent study. We are assigned to write on a paradox within our field of study and I chose faith and doubt. Soon after narrowing my topic I got a call from home that one of my best friends from youth group days was killed in a car accident. My world felt rocked and I wasn't sure how to fit tragedy into my newly developing personal theology. I had lost both of my grandpas when I was younger, but this felt wrong. Jessica was young. 

I remember processing with Dr. Lewis, my theology professor from the year before. I share with him my confusion over how to feel. He told me to feel how I want to feel and share that with God. He told me it was ok to swear at God. That God would be upset alongside me, even if I felt like I needed to direct blame to God. Dr. Lewis’ words spoke such a freedom into how I wanted to grieve. It was a total reframe for me to view God as someone who was not just reverent, but relatable. That God wouldn’t turn away from wanting to be in relationship with me, if I shouted curse words, even directed at God, in my anger and grief. I flew home for the services and spent that summer writing/crying out my Humanities capstone paper on the paradox of faith and doubt. It was a reflective and healing assignment.

My senior year at Warner was full of experiences and a greater maturity for seeing my role on campus. As student body president we partnered with other campuses who were in need that year. Our sister college Warner Southern had been hit with hurricanes in Florida, delaying the start of their semester and causing damage on campus. (In a way that brought me to dating James as we connected our campuses). Down the road in Newberg, OR our conference rival George Fox was experiencing grief as they lost a few students in a short time to unexpected deaths. We pulled our campuses together for a joint worship service. We also pushed forward the idea of a Common Day of Service where campus activities would pause for a day for the entire college community to participate in a day of volunteering. This came into reality the following year!

Our make-it-happen Student Government team!

During this year I was asked by Church of God Ministries in Anderson, IN to write curriculum for their youth division. I told them I'd think about it. My first thoughts were that curriculum is boring and nobody should use it for Sunday School. As I reflected more on that idea, I felt like I had an opportunity to make a small impact on making some non-sucky curriculum that could be helpful. I also thought that as people ask me what I'm going to do with my Religion and Christian Ministry degree this made a whole lot of sense for a way I could channel that learning back into something that could benefit others. 

Me and my bestie KK on graduation eve

As I wrapped up the spring semester I knew that I needed a break from academic life. I had the assurance of a paycheck through writing that summer and wouldn't need to rush into a job. I began considering graduate school and toying with the idea of educational leadership development. My advisor Shannon had pointed out that people in roles similar to hers on a college campus can actually study that kind of thing, and the more involved I was in campus life, that idea really stood out to me. But mostly, I knew I needed a break. 

Shannon on the left and one of my faculty and mentors Megan  on the right.

  I enjoyed the summer by attending family reunions, my brother's wedding, representing Warner at a family camp, and writing curriculum. It was refreshing. Shannon had taken a role in our admissions office and encouraged me to look at working there as a next step. I began in August maybe? as the office coordinator for a bustling active group that was no short of personality!  

May 2005