Processing Change

Our life is full of change/anticipation of change right now. A lot of folks have asked how we are doing and feeling about all that is ahead with the move to Indiana, Jonathan starting in a new role, me not starting another job, etc. Last night I talked with Heath and explained it this way:

There are a lot of changes that are coming for our family and they are all pretty exciting, but with change comes this thing called stress. Some stress is good and some stress is bad. Even though we are excited for our move to Indiana and starting kindergarten there, it can still be sad to leave our friends here. Sometimes that stress of change makes our body react in ways that we aren't expecting, like having accidents or out of nowhere feeling sad or angry. And that is ok. This morning Mama felt easily frustrated when you weren't changing clothes to get out the door on time and I yelled, I'm sorry. I want you to know that I love you, even when I'm feeling stress because of change. And I know when you yelled at me today you still loved me. 

So, that is maybe a good summary of where I am at. Excited for change that is ahead. But trying to be self-aware in the stress that is lurking with so many details hanging in balance (the moving truck, the movers, the temporary apartment, the inspection report and closing on our house, ...). Heath is processing the move in his own 5 year old way and asking questions a little bit at a time to check in with what is important in the moment. Overall he is excited and senses our hopefulness about the move. He climbed into bed one morning this week with me and said "Mama, I'm really excited that daddy got a good job in Indiana. How many more days until we move?" And then the next day when his friend's birthday party invitation came for August and we told him we would be in Indiana already, an instant meltdown came with tears of sadness that he wanted to be here. Another random afternoon moment Heath said "but my Rainbow Rider friends are going to the Virginia Margaret Beeks (elementary school) and I'm not going to have any friends at the Indiana Margaret Beeks." I told Heath he was so good at making friends- better than I am, so he could help me when we meet new families at a park or something before school starts. He smiled big "Oh yeah- I could do that!" A couple days later when tucking him in to bed and talking (not about the move) he (randomly) said, "Mama, I'm really good at making friends, but it makes you nervous. That is ok, I will help you!"

One day at a time. We are figuring it out and trying to have extra grace for each other along the journey!

Convos with Heath

I cherish our children at bedtime. For the last several months now Jonathan has Reese snuggle duty and I get chapter book (or "tractor book") reading time with Heath before bedtime snuggles. We are almost done with our second Ramona book by Beverly Cleary and he has loved them. I'm really impressed with his ability to picture and focus on the story, and he reminds me each night where we left off with what was happening. Tonight in bed after we prayed and sang, we had these conversations, totally worthy of documenting.

L: Heath will you always want to snuggle with me?
H: Ya
L: Even when you are 16?
H: Ya, even when I'm 20! :)

Then a few minutes later (after I had sung Zaacheus) he asked if he was a bad guy, then followed with this random trail of thoughts...
"But there was a bad guy and he was taking stuff from the Jews, but then he met Jesus and they had a picnic and he gave all his money back."

Earlier this morning Heath had told J that he was the boss of our family, to which J promptly retorted that "mamma and I are both bosses in this family, co-bosses." :) Heath asked, does that mean 2? "Yes, and one day you can have a spouse that you will be co-bosses with." Heath then let us know that he would like to marry Reese when they get older, because that would be easiest since she is already in our family.

After I had tucked Heath in and Jonathan laid Reese down in the bottom bed, he had his own conversation with him that went like this:
J: Heath I'm thankful that I get to be your daddy
H: I'm thankful that I'm going to be a daddy.
J: Yes, I think you will be a great daddy some day.
H: Ya, and I'm going to marry Reese...... maybe when I'm 20?!

So you see some themes we've been having here lately, especially with a favored number. It used to be 21, which was a HUGE number to him because that's how much money he had to save for his dino breakout toy over 4 months. (side note- he has proudly taken that toy in each Toy Tuesday to school since purchasing).

Sunday night the kids both had a hard time falling asleep, just too much energy to crash in their beds. It started out giggly and then turned to Heath saying Reese was keeping him awake, then she cried a bit, then it went quiet. As we got ready to go to bed we looked in their room and found these two peas in a pod!

Life updates: Kids, PhD, Job Search

KIDS:
Sunday, February 8th, Reese turned 1!

We celebrated that morning with a family pancake breakfast! She delighted in being sung to.

Her birth day was filled with beautiful sunshine that we enjoyed at the park.

And the following work week I told my pump

we broke up, and it feels amazing.
Reese is still nursing in the morning, when I get her at the end of a work day, and usually once more before bedtime. It's been a positive breastfeeding experience, but I was ready to ditch that pump and at 12 months old now, her diet is expanding daily. She has been sleeping in the kids' room and through the night for the past month and a half now and that has been glorious! Especially fun when they wake up together in the mornings and have self-entertained while mom and dad pretend like we are sleeping a little longer. This is what I found last weekend when I went in.

Reese was climbing all over Heath

Heath was reading her the Frozen book and had the CD playing

They have really been great siblings for each other recently, enjoying in a lot more shared playtime. We still have to explain to Heath that Reese is younger and doesn't understand that she is 'tearing up the airport runway' or 'blocking his racetrack path.' Heath has made up more songs for Reese which she enjoys with a smile, usually a rocking back and forth and sometimes attempts to join him. Yesterday he sung to her "Reese Jean I love you, you are my best girl!" My heart melted.

J'S DISSERTATION
Jonathan is making great progress this semester! He has recently received access to the database he is using for his dissertation (a nice bonus that it is paid for through a research scholarship he received!). His dissertation is 5 chapters and he has the first two 'completed' and progress made on the third. The database will help to fill the content of the remaining chapters four and five. He will have to go before his faculty after chapter three is done and complete another passing marker before the formal defense of the whole dissertation which we expect to be late spring semester.

JOB SEARCH
With J wrapping up his PhD program, his graduate assistantship will expire this May, prompting the 'what's next?' question. Another round of a dual career search for the Manz fam! :) Our field of higher education typically posts and hires through the spring season, February- April for a first cycle of positions posted. Then there is another wave after all those people shuffle and another wave later summer. So we have been bracing ourselves for the roller coaster that is the job search. We have been thankful for the opportunities at Virginia Tech and would welcome if those opportunities for us both continued, but have to be diligent in making this dual job search a broad one nationally.

This year I've been able to co-lead a committee around our aspiration for student learning: Pursue Self-Understanding and Integrity. I was sharing with the committee that it seems a job search places you in the perfect spot to embrace this self reflection in understanding who you are, what energizes you, what you feel called to while also holding to the integrity of applying those inner answers into the roles for which you apply. It would be easy to mass produce cover letters and jump at any job that your qualifications meet, or that the salary seems appealing. I'm finding the quiet reflection time where I listen to my heart and pray for God's calling for our family leaves me in a place of peace much greater than the rat race that is anxiety inducing. It is still early in the search season, but you can hold me to keeping that perspective and not losing focus- on my faith, in my values of family and well-being.

Heath's commission

Heath has seen a photo of a toy on the back of his car box that he got for Christmas. He has pointed it out several times since December and last week I finally told him he had two choices if he wanted that toy: 1- he could put it on his birthday list and wait for June to see if someone would buy it for him, or 2- he could start earning money and save on his own to buy it. He decided that it would be better to 'make money because then you don't have to wait so long.'

We ascribe to the Dave Ramsey principles of money management and so I went back to reading his advice on how to separate chores that you do because you are part of this family, and earning a commission by doing extra tasks that help your parents or the household. Heath is already a GREAT helper, and so I wanted to be sure that this earning money was not confused with the 'chores' he is already doing naturally: brushing his teeth, clearing his table, unloading the silverware from the dishwasher, putting his toys away.

So I told Heath I would think about some new ways that he could help us out and make money to save. I researched the toy and told him I found it at Walmart for $35 or at Amazon for $21. He recognized it will be easier to save $21, so we set that as our goal. I gave him a clear mason jar to put his earnings in so we could see it add up. He rushed to his room to quickly add the 6 coins he had previously collected from pocket findings or dresser tops. We talked about the difference of 46 cents and $21 and how it will take some time and work, but buying his toy before June is possible.

Heath earned a quarter by cutting out coupons for me in the Kroger mailer

Heath also earned a dollar the following weekend by helping Jonathan with some yard work outside, hauling debris from the front yard to the back. He stuck with it the whole time.

As soon as he got his earnings he ran into his room, grabbed the jar, and said "I've got to count all my money now!"

Do you have any ideas for the commission list?

UPDATE: April 25, 2015 we counted his money jar (again) after cutting out morning coupons for mom and earning another 12 cents. Heath successfully earned and saved $22.64, so we placed the online order and it is due to arrive in 2 days thanks to Amazon Prime!

Tuesday dinners by Heath

You may remember a couple years ago when Jonathan had Tuesday night class and the evening became designated as Heath and Mama's cooking night. Well I'm thankful that the time invested that semester in teaching Heath how to prepare food and clean in the kitchen has come back full circle! This semester Jonathan is a TA for a Master's class meeting Tuesdays 4-7pm. With Reese now part of this family, and usually wanting to nurse as soon as possible after daycare pickup, this mama needs help. Enter Heath.

For the last three weeks now, Heath has completely on his own, prepared a salad and chicken dinner for the two of us (with leftovers waiting for dad). This is one helpful 4.5yr old!

While Heath loves to 'make' salad by washing and tearing up lettuce, I've simplified for these first couple nights with the prepared bag- namely for me to build my confidence in trusting him with multiple steps. 

Such concentration! (Opening the prepared Purdue chicken slices to heat in the microwave)

As I'm sitting in the chair nursing Reese, I ask 'how's it going?' He just taste tested and gives the thumb's up!

Ta-da! 

Heath Lately

Heath and Mama Date Night- music class followed by ice cream cone!

Everyone has asked us since Reese has been born, how Heath has been doing. Overall he has had a wonderfully positive response to welcoming his little sister and dotes on her with mooches and hugs. He loves her. He has ceased to love listening to his parents. So we have had lots of roller coaster emotional rides with him in the past 2 months. Amidst the crazy I wanted to document some recent Heath-isms as he continues to make us laugh with his sometimes intentional and sometimes unintentional charm.

At school his teachers asked him what love is. His response "when my mommy and daddy give me hugs and mooches, that's love."

When he had a big BM on the toilet and called J for help. J asked him if it was stinky, his response "Ya, it's pretty stinky I think you need to put fire on a stick and then shoo it away. There is a firebox on top of the shelf there."

At school he was asked to share directions to his house: "Drive fast to it. Bicycles drive past it, people run past it. If friends want to come to my house, they need to ask me."

He has been singing a lot of original songs lately. He made one for his sister that went "Reesey Reesey Reesey I love you, Reesey Reesey Reesey I love you!"

Sharing the backseat with Reese has turned Heath into an even larger commentator.
    "Mom, Reese is 'hicking up'!" (had the hiccups)

     "Mom Reese is awake. Mom she closed her eyes. Now she opened them again I think she is awake. Mom she just closed her eyes." (That play by play given in a 50 second span). 

Words that he has created lately:

Handsitizer. (Hand sanitizer of course)

Fvussert. (Dessert which he believes is bonus fruit after dinner).

Fvasagna. (lasagna)
Microwave. (an actual word except that he uses it to describe his microphone)

He completed the community center's Guppy swim class this February/March

I forget the exact context, but I think it had to do with if he continued to be a good listener that day we would give him a cookie after dinner. He reached the goal and I pulled out a tupperware with cookies inside and told him he could pick one. He quickly retorted,  "Not the potty cookie!" with his hand to his face and head shaking. (apparently oreos are only for pooping on the toilet rewards) 

Heath has also gotten theological on us lately asking some questions during Holy Week: Why did Jesus die? Is God a boy?

J took Heath into a Wendy's bathroom on our drive up to NYC this month. There was clearly a man sitting in the stall going #2 when Heath loudly exclaimed "It is Stinky like poop in here." 

We let Heath take a bath with Reese (and Daddy) the other week. Being in this new space with her naked naturally prompted the question, "Where is Reese's kajina?"


So no matter what stage our independent growing tot is going through (he will turn 4 June 3rd), he has certainly continued to make us smile and it is good to remember that!

Heath's Nesting

We are coming up on baby girl's status of 'full term' this Saturday at 37 weeks. As we near our time as a family of three, it seems like Heath is sensing what's ahead and has been nesting in his own ways.

For a few nights in a row last week, he climbed up on J's lap and asked if they could just hug for a bit.

In the past 2-3 weeks he has been a BIG proponent of snuggling. When he lays down for bed at night after stories and prayers and songs, he asks if we can just snuggle with him for a bit in his bed. Of course, we have obliged. When J told him he needed to get up now and go snuggle with mama on the couch for a bit, Heath asked "but then when you are done, will you come back and snuggle with me more?" J said 'ya buddy I'll come in and give you another mooch goodnight.' H replied "no, in the bed snuggling."

Heath has also enjoyed telling us how we are going to end our evenings after dinner, by a rundown of "clean the dishes, then take a bath, then 'tickles and mooches', then story time, then prayers, then songs, then snuggle in bed."

Heath has continued to be interested in his baby sister, giving my belly hugs or talking to her and saying hello or goodnight. I am cherishing his snuggles and soaking in our family of 3 moments too.

Because laying beside me would have felt too far away apparently ;)

Mini Sweet Potato-Apple Morning Glory Muffins

Last Saturday night Heath and I were needing an activity and I noticed nobody had signed up to bring snacks for church in the morning so I searched out a mini muffin recipe. We had just bought some sweet potatoes (rich in fiber and beta-carotene) and I had never thought to use them in a muffin the same way as shredded carrots, but they were delicious!

We based the recipe off of this website, our edits are below. http://www.babble.com/best-recipes/sweet-potato-morning-glory-muffins/

The regular sized muffins were a bit dense, but they all tasted best hot and fresh from the oven. And we know because of the ice storm we got Sunday morning when church was relocated to an online google chat and we had a few dozen muffins for our breakfast :)

Mini Sweet Potato-Apple Morning Glory Muffins
1 cup all-purpose flour and 1 cup whole wheat (or 2c. of what you prefer)
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. salt
3 large eggs
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup applesauce
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups coarsely grated raw sweet potato
1 apple, coarsely grated
1/2 cup raisins

Preheat the oven to 350˚F and line 24 mini or 12 regular muffin cups with paper liners.
In a large bowl, stir together the flour, sugars, cinnamon and salt. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs, oil, applesauce and vanilla. Add to the dry ingredients along with the sweet potato, apple, raisins and walnuts and stir just until everything is combined.
Spoon into lined muffin cups, filling them 3/4 full. Bake for 15-20 minutes (for mini muffins) or 20-25 minutes (full-sized muffins), until the muffins are golden and springy to the touch. This recipe yielded 2 dozen mini-muffins and 1 dozen regular sized muffins for us.

Heath-ism: Goggles

Conversations with a toddler before 7:30am today:

L: Heath, what do you want to wear today?
H: Um, my dump truck shirt and black pants and black socks...
L: Ok
H: ..and goggles.
L: (perplexed look) what do you mean goggles?
H: Goggles. To keep me warm.
L: But your clothes will do that.
H: (lifting up his pj shirt) but I need to keep these warm (pointing at his nipples).
L: Your shirt will keep your nipples warm.
H: But I need to wear goggles like Mama.
L: Do you mean Mama's bra?
H: um, ya, uh-huh- to keep my nipples warm.

He has a friend in school that wears toddler glasses that look like goggles, here I was way off track thinking he wanted to dress like that friend today! :)

Entering Pittsburgh

I was able to have two proposals accepted to present at the region's NAFSA conference for international educators. Since the conference was being hosted in Pittsburgh during NFL season we thought this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce Heath to the city and share our first Heinz Field Steelers game all together! Entering the city through the Fort Hood tunnel is a beautiful experience. It was made even better with Heath who was so stoked to 1- be in a long tunnel and 2- be entering Pittsburgh. His excitement reached a whole new level (and pitch) when half way through the tunnel we told him when the tunnel ends we are going to see the football stadium where the Steelers play.

Hyper giggles ensued. Followed by this conversation:

H: what's that guys name again?

J: Benjamin?

H: ya, Benjamin Roffisbuurger (pronounced better than most adults). Is he the one that makes touchdowns?

L: ya, we hope he does. He is our quarterback. 

H: ya, when I see him at the football stadium I'm going to yell his name.  

Thrifty Halloween: Lion

Heath kept changing his mind on what he wanted to be for Halloween when asked this past month. So I waited around to see what would prevail the week-of (lion, tiger and mermaid were all in the running). Lion started to be a consistent answer and so I searched for some easy do it yourself costumes to create 24 hours before dress up day at his school. I found this great guide on a blog that served as my inspiration: http://www.tryitmom.com/2011/10/super-easy-diy-baby-lion-costume.html 

I made a run to Dollar Tree and came up with the following materials to make this magic happen:

1. Infant fleece beanie (brown with ears was the key)  2. Premade tail with velcro belt loop  3. Ladies brown 'fuzzy fur' gloves  4. Infinity scarf  5. 2 pack of car shammy

Mane:

Following the above referenced blog, I cut my fabric materials up into strips so that I could sew onto the beanie, starting with a row directly in front of the ears which conveniently covered up the pre-printed monkey face. I alternated between the orange shammy (with little cuts 3/4 of the way to make a fringe), the infinity scarf, and then the brown fuzzy fabric which remained after I cut the wrist cuts off. 

As a developing piece of the mane, I had extra scarf and shammy so decided to loop that piece around Heath's face to create more than just the fuzzy top. 

Fuzzy Wrists:

Using the brown gloves, I cut above the elastic so they would stay in tact and just be fingerless. I added a piece of fringed shammy by sewing inside and then reversing. 

Tail:

To spruce up the pre-made tail I bought I used some of the fabric scraps and a stapler to staple at the end.

Body:

Heath wore brown pants and the only brown long sleeved shirt we had which happened to have a monkey embroidered on the belly of it. So a piece of the shammy was used to create a shaded tummy look and this one was just safety pinned for easy removal.

There you have it! The $5.27 Halloween costume for my little lion. 

Heath-isms

We keep saying we need to write these down otherwise we are going to forget! 3 has been quite the fun language and cognitive development stage for watching Heath grow. Here are a few snapshots of what he has shared with us:

1- When describing the weather outside, variations of this talk happen every day Monday- Friday on the way to school
J/L: It looks like it is another foggy day this morning
H: Ya I can't see the sunshine, those clouds are hiding it
Us: Maybe it will come up later today
H: Hmmm, ya it is very froggy outside

2- In preparing to get ready for bed
H: But it is not dark yet
L: But it is getting dark, do you see the sun outside anymore?
H: No, but why do we call it dark?
L: (Having just preached on Genesis the week prior) Well because God made it that way. He made the moon and the stars and the sun and decided to call the light day and the dark night.
H: Ya He calls it wake up time and nigh-night time too.

3- No matter the time of day, context of activity or where we are- anatomy is clearly on Heath's mind and variations of this talk happen if not every day, at least 6 times a week. This recent example was last Sunday at 6:40am when he crawled into bed with us, me groggy and J still asleep
H: Mommy, you have a penis?
L: No
H: But Daddy has a penis
L: Yes
H: And I have a penis
L: Yes
H: But Momma, what you have?
L: A vagina
H: Ya, a gina. Girls have ginas.

We just love this guy!